Letting go

Lately, I've been feeling the need to rid myself and my home of anything weighing me down. I've been having this strong urge to purge our home of anything we no longer have use for. I want to make our home simpler and free from the clutter. There are things I am ready to let go of...things that I no longer need to hold onto.

Do you ever hear something that you know was meant for you to hear at that particular time and for that particular moment in your life?

That's pretty much what has been happening to me lately. I keep hearing that in order to make room for new things in your life, you need to make room by letting go of what you don't need. I know that applies to me in so many ways.

I use to be an antique dealer and vintage clothing dealer. I quit my business last year because I no longer have time to work p/t and try to maintain my booth at a local antique mall. It takes a lot of hours of scouring estate sales, flea markets, thrift stores, yard/garage sales, and any other sale you can think of. It was fun and occupied a lot of my time BEFORE I had my babies. The problem was, I loved it so much...well, I held on to a lot of STUFF that I liked and didn't want to sell. That STUFF, took up a lot of space=clutter! Augh! I became a collector of sorts. Now looking back, I realize that I didn't want to let go and this was my way of having some control. Let me explain...

Dan and I married in June '02. The week of my wedding I found out a very, very close dear friend of mine had passed away-he was only 26 and I was expecting him to be at my wedding along with his father (who had RSVP'd). Then a month later I lost my Dad-which is of course still very difficult to deal with to this day, but it has gotten easier. You see I was for the most part raised by my grandparents, so my grandfather became my Daddy and I owe much of whom I am today to both my Mom and Dad (Grandma & Grandpa).

This weekend we started our spring cleaning...hey, technically it's still spring until the 22nd :D I have slowly been letting go of so much clutter and clearing out things that I have held on to for a long time that has been weighing me down. I always think I'll have a need for these things later, but really...these material items are not worth holding on to. If I need them again later, they'll come to me. Why carry them around for years just in case I may need them, when someone else could use them? So, as I began to remove items from my home and throw away lots of junk, I started to physically, emotionally, and spiritually feel lighter. I began to feel free, like I could breathe again! Then it struck me! I am at a stage in my life where I am feeling it's ok to release those things that I no longer need. You see, it just wasn't about these material items. It's about the things/tools that I used to cope through what I needed to go to. I wasn't ready to let go then, so I collected and I cluttered. Now, I am a mother and remain a happily married woman. I have a family. I am ready to move on. I am ready to let go. I release and now I am ready to make room for more good in my life.

Don't you just love those aha moments?

Oh..."What a long strange trip it's been".